Living with our Unschooling Principles

It's one thing to say "we're radical unschoolers", but how do we live our day-to-day lives with those principles?  It can get tricky - we all have those triggers, those "lines that shall not be crossed" in our minds.  Remembering to use our unschooling principles can get lost in the scripts that run in our heads.

Here's an example from my life.  I prefer to buy organic & locally-grown food whenever possible.  When I first started feeding Kimi solid foods, I either made it myself or purchased organic baby food.  It was extremely important to me that she eat the safest, purest food possible.  And so long as I made the grocery shopping decisions, it was never an issue.  But a funny, & predictable, thing happened on the way to Whole Foods - my kids started to choose their own food that they wanted to buy.  And it very often wasn't organic, or local, or even all that nutritious.  Doritos, Cheez-Its, Yodels & Pop Tarts suddenly graced my pantry shelves.  I didn't like it.  I didn't want them there.  They were polluting my sweet children's bodies with strange chemicals & preservatives.  I really wished the kids didn't want them.

So, I would "subtly" ration them - "let's just get 1 box...we'll get more next time" (& then I would conveniently forget to get more the next time.  And guess what happened - the kids began to value them, hoarding them & fighting over how much each child got.  It wasn't pleasant.

Then, as we learned more & more about radical unschooling, I realized that I had to stop making a big deal out of the food choice our family made.  After all, I sometimes eat "junk" food - & I certainly wouldn't appreciate someone telling me I really shouldn't be eating that.  I started saying "yes" in the grocery aisle more & more.  The kids were free to try different snack foods without judgement or arbitrary limits on quantity.

At first, they had a field day - lots of things got purchased & eaten, yet, they didn't stop eating the healthier foods, too.  They just ate a variety of things.  Sometimes they would binge a bit - eating several candy bars in an afternoon, for example.  But they didn't like the bloated feeling that followed - no more excessive eating of chocolate!

Today, my kids eat a healthy, varied diet that they self-select.  Kimi loves going to the local farmers market with me to pick out local & organic foods.  I continue to fill the fridge, freezer & pantry with lots of healthy yummies.  I also continue to happily buy the ice cream, Doritos & Cheez-Its.  Interestingly, when I buy, say, fresh raspberries they don't last the night, while the boxes & bags of snackie foods last much longer.

When we were interviewed by Good Morning America, Juju Chang expressed disbelief that the kids would choose healthy food if we didn't make them eat it, yet when we were in the Green Room at the studio, Kimi reached right past the chocolate croissants to get some fresh melon.  Look - non-coerced healthy eating!  It really happens!

My kids are healthy teens, rarely sick, & of normal weight.  They don't have any unhealthy attitudes about food or misconceptions about nutrition.  I don't think they would be as knowledgable about their own needs if I had prevented them from exploring food choices for themselves.  Trusting them was the best thing I could have done for them.

And they sleep all day?

From The National Sleep Foundation:

FACTS:

• Sleep is vital to your well-being, as important as the air you breathe, the water you drink and the food you eat. It can even help you to eat better and manage the stress of being a teen.
• Biological sleep patterns shift toward later times for both sleeping and waking during adolescence -- meaning it is natural to not be able to fall asleep before 11:00 pm.
• Teens need about 9 1/4 hours of sleep each night to function best (for some, 8 1/2 hours is enough). Most teens do not get enough sleep — one study found that only 15% reported sleeping 8 1/2 hours on school nights.
• Teens tend to have irregular sleep patterns across the week — they typically stay up late and sleep in late on the weekends, which can affect their biological clocks and hurt the quality of their sleep.
• Many teens suffer from treatable sleep disorders, such as narcolepsy, insomnia, restless legs syndrome or sleep apnea.

CONSEQUENCES:

Not getting enough sleep or having sleep difficulties can:

• Limit your ability to learn, listen, concentrate and solve problems. You may even forget important information like names, numbers, your homework or a date with a special person in your life;
• Make you more prone to pimples. Lack of sleep can contribute to acne and other skin problems;
• Lead to aggressive or inappropriate behavior such as yelling at your friends or being impatient with your teachers or family members;
• Cause you to eat too much or eat unhealthy foods like sweets and fried foods that lead to weight gain;
• Heighten the effects of alcohol and possibly increase use of caffeine and nicotine; and
• Contribute to illness, not using equipment safely or driving drowsy.

Notice anything?  I sure do!  Everything known about normal sleep requirements for the average teenager is at odds with the typical high school schedule.  Why is this done to teens?  Because the schools' schedule can't adequately accommodate these needs.  One of the recommended solutions is to start school at a later time, but teens do not have a say in when they can attend school.

Unschoolers (& homeschoolers) are able to get the proper rest required for good physical, mental & psychological health when they are able to go to bed when they are tired & waken when they are ready.  

Does this mean they never get up early?  Of course not!  My children get up early when there is a reason - just like most adults.  How many adults get up early on the weekend or during their vacation "just because"?  Few - because unless they are getting up for a particular reason, they will stay asleep until they are naturally ready to waken.  Kids are no different.  So don't judge the night owls & assume laziness on their part - they are only doing what is natural.